Coming in Waves

I've really been struggling lately. Have you ever experienced complete exasperation? That's where I am. There is a plan for our situation. I know the plan, I'm walking the plan, I know there is finality for this part of our journey. But, as of late, I've felt like a duck on the pond. I'm trying to look like I'm keeping it all together when in reality, I'm just trying not to drown. I'm being pulled from every side and trying so desperately to give each aspect of my life 100% but I feel like I'm falling short everywhere. 

But this evening, in the quiet of my parents' house as I watch my children just be themselves, I am reminded of why we are doing what we are doing. To live simply, to appreciate life, to reconnect as a family. They are the best part of me, of Mark, and I want to enjoy them as much as I can before its their time to be out in the world. I want to share experiences with them and I want to see how they see the world. I want to love them and love on them. 

Some people won't like the picture I'm choosing to share this month but it has meant a great deal to me. We have been sharing a room in my parents' house and although I was unsure of the arrangement at first, I'm so very glad for this opportunity. I've been asked to read bedtime stories and sing goodnight songs again, things I thought they had outgrown. I get sleepy good mornings and late night kisses. Sometimes when you remove all the things you thought made your life better, you realize you already had the best.

It's so perfect that Hillsong United's "Oceans" is the song that speaks to my heart right now. I hope it speaks to you as well.

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

[6x]

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

Sending much love, my friends. Keep your eyes above the waves.