One Year Anniversary

Today is one year anniversary of the call to action in our lives. One year ago today, we put all our eggs in one basket, pushed our husband and father out of the house, and prayed that we would learn to fly as we all jumped from that proverbial cliff. I've learned quite a few things in the last year and I thought I'd share some of them with you. 

There were things that we did in an effort to save ourselves emotionally and/or physically. I wish I had gone ahead and reached out to our family and friends more. Things that we did that hurt our friends and our family when our intentions were noble that I wish I could take back. I wish I could go back and explain better the reasoning for our decisions. The method behind our mad thoughts. In the midst of the shame, fear, sadness and loneliness that we felt, I wish we had felt comfortable enough to reach out to our "supporters."

To those "supporters" I want to say thank you. Thank you for the last year of prayers, words of comfort or support. Thank you for loving us when we were less loving. Thank you for believing in us when we struggled to believe in ourselves. Thank you for being genuinely happy for us. Hawaii was a life choice and not just one where we were thinking of beaches and vacation life.

Hawaii is even more than we originally expected. It is absolutely a melting pot in every sense of the word. First world living by Third World standards. You have homeless sleeping outside malls selling Cartier and Tiffany watches. Tiny houses sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars and land is a rapidly shrinking resource. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

I still firmly believe we are here for a reason and I absolutely believe it starts with those two amazing kids I get to call mine. This move has made them strong, more resilient, and opened their eyes to some of the world around them. The changes over the last year are minimal in comparison to what others may be going through. We are strong enough and together, we grow stronger every day.

Strong Enough - Matthew West

You must

You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough